


I Don't Wanna Die Anymore

by glennthewalmartguy



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Not Beta Read, One Shot, Platonic NurseyDex, Platonic Relationships, Short One Shot, hes lonely and sad, like its short bros, sarah was busy, someone help my boy, which. big mood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-11-01 03:04:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17859038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glennthewalmartguy/pseuds/glennthewalmartguy
Summary: Nursey enters his room only to find Dex on the floor, crying. He decides to help.





	I Don't Wanna Die Anymore

It’s one of those rare nights that the Haus is quiet. Nursey can hear nothing but Bitty’s music in the kitchen as he walks through the stairs up to his and Dex’s room. He goes to open the door, fully intending to bitch Dex out for something, but he stops. Inside their room, he can hear crying. Dex crying. Nursey pauses for a moment, completely unsure of what to do in this situation. But then the crying gets louder and he decides that he can do something to fix this, so he goes in.

Instead of seeing Dex’s usual hunched silhouette over his desk inside their room, he sees his friend sitting on the ground, leaning against the bunk bed, with his head in his hands. He’s shaking and sobbing loudly. Nursey is... uncomfortable. He’s never seen Dex like this, but his desire to help wins out over his desire to leave as quickly as possible. He sits down in front of Dex on the floor and puts one awkward hand on his foot.

“Dex?” he questions, “What’s up?” Dex keeps his head in hands, but mumbles a quiet “Fuck off.” in response. Nursey frowns.

“No, dude, I’m here to help and all that shit. What’s going on?” Dex finally looks up, but otherwise doesn’t move.

“I’m,” he pauses, “I just-” his breath hitches and he breaks into even harder sobs. Nursey takes the fact that he didn’t physically push him away as a sign that his presence is fine. So, he takes it a step further and moves to sit directly beside him, wrapping his arm around his shoulders.

“Nurse,” Dex breathes, “I was doing my homework… and I was thinking about everything…” He pauses to wipe his eyes and take deep breaths, Nursey pats his back.

“God,” Dex says, “Fuck, I just… I don’t want to die anymore, Nursey.” The second the words are out of his mouth, he starts crying again. Nursey is shocked still for a moment. He didn’t expect that. Out of everything, he really didn’t expect that.

“Oh,” Nursey says, “that’s really chill, bro.” Then, when Dex doesn’t respond, “Any, like, reason for that?” Dex’s crying calms down enough for him to speak again and he nods.

“I have been been alone literally my entire life,” he says, then stops, “No, nevermind, this is fucking stupid. I hate you.” Nursey doesn’t even flinch at those words. Dex does this all the time. He pushes him away when he gets uncomfortable or has to show any emotions at all.

“It’s not stupid, and you don’t hate me.”

“Yes I do.”

“No, you don’t. Now, tell me more.” Dex stops again before he speaks, thinking about what he wants to say.

“Okay, you can’t tell people about this shit.”

“Scout’s honor.” Nursey holds up the sacred symbol in front of Dex’s face. Dex pushes his hand away.

“You weren’t a fucking boy scout.”

  
“Concept still applies.” Dex rolls his eyes back so far they might as well disappear.

“Whatever, asshole, shut up.” He takes a deep breath. “I have spent my entire life without friends. Before Samwell, I just lived like I was alone. My family didn’t hang out with me, I didn’t have friends to hang out with, and I spent all of my time just… sitting in my room, alone. It wasn’t great for my head.” He’s crying again. Nursey doesn’t say anything.

  
“I got really depressed. I didn’t talk to anyone about it. I just felt like I wanted to die all the time and didn’t kill myself even though I wanted to.” Silently, Nursey squeezes the arm around Dex’s shoulders.

“And then I got to Samwell. I joined the hockey team. I met all of these burly hockey guys that talked about feelings and shit and they didn’t make me feel weird or out of place. I met Shitty and his weird-ass speeches about mental health and even though I didn’t talk to him about my shit I know I can. I made friends here, I met you.” Nursey smiles when Dex mentions him. Dex looks up at his happy expression and frowns.

“Don’t fucking look at me,” he snaps. Nursey looks away.

“Anyway, I was just sitting there at my desk and I realized that I don’t want to kill myself all the time anymore. And that’s nice.” He wipes his eyes and takes a long breath. Nursey nods, carefully looking back.

“You know,” Nursey says, “I think that’s really fucking ‘swasome, Dex. I’m glad you told me your shit. I’m glad you’re happy, and you better be goddamn sure you can come to me when it gets bad.” Dex doesn’t respond so Nursey removes the arm from his shoulders and instead shoves his arm. “You know that right?”

“Yeah,” Dex almost smiles, “I know. And it’s going to get bad, at some point. I’m not delusional. I know this isn’t a fix all.” Nursey nods and stands up. He sticks out a hand to help Dex up and, to his surprise, Dex actually takes it. Once they’re standing, Dex stiffens.

“Nursey?” Dex asks.

“Yeah?”

“Why the fuck is your underwear on my GODDAMN BED?”

“I-”

**Author's Note:**

> Oh shit! A real post! I know it's short, and I honestly wasn't even going to post it because it is so short, but I thought it was a nice fic. This was inspired by my own realization that I am not constantly suicidal anymore! Woohoo!  
> Seriously though, if you're feeling suicidal, don't be afraid to call the national suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255.
> 
> I greatly enjoy All comments, even just a <3 makes me whole day. Thank you so much for reading!


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